Yes, it is the holidays once again, and I've been caught at home, with nothing to do (yet, hopefully)!
A friend and I recently flogged something on eBay for US$249, which we bought for US$69, so that was a handy profit! We are splitting the profits, but I did fork out all the money for that... it was his idea though. I should really stop being the banker in our little schemes (incase one day it doesn't come off).
I was able to recently sell my shares for a profit of $3.10, which was quite a relief, as it did spend most of the time at a massive loss! I'm hoping to sell my other stocks for a bigger profit, though it doesn't look like it's going to move any time soon.
Otherwise, my life goes on a usual.
I feel like I have to say something philosophical in this post, otherwise I feel like I'm just ranting on about my life...
Well, I might as well deluge this post with all my thoughts... I've been hanging out with a girl, whom... I don't know. She's nice. Cute. Not shy. Smart. Fun to be around. And we constantly message eachother, though I try to not initiate it (so, it's normally her that messages me first). But... she has a boyfriend. And I don't want to get too involved, because I don't want to fall for her, and ruin what we have now. And if she is willing to lose the boyfriend, I don't want to be the reason for it. Especially considering everything that's happened in my past. So, what do I do? I'll just lay back, and don't tinkle with it.
Don't get involved.
Don't start anything.
Don't call her unless she calls me.
Don't message her unless I'm replying to her.
That's what I'll do.
Noone gets exposed.
Noone gets hurt.
Everything will be fine!
Why is it that every time I come across a nice, worthwhile girl, that she is taken or has attachments? It's not fair... Even worse, from what she's told me of her boyfriend, he sounds like a real dick. A hateful, distrusting, prejudice sort of person. She's even said that he probably wouldn't like me. That would explain why I've not been introduced, even kept apart. He seems very distrusting of her. Doesn't seem to like any of her friends. I don't know what she sees in him. The only positive things I hear about him is when he buys/offers to buy her stuff. Though, it's not hard to please her... quite simply, she's a brand whore. Anything with a reputable tag will make her happy. But it's for her to decide what she wants in a guy, and I'm not about to get involved. I've not said anything to her about what I think about her boyfriend.
And I shouldn't anyways... everything I know about him is from what she says. If it makes her happy to be with him, then I've got no place saying anything negative. I don't even know if I like her, or if I'm just looking out for her, because I don't want her to end up with someone who's like this. Like I've said before, if you're going to go through life not trusting anyone, then it's going to be a very boring, sad life. I know my friend use to like her. That's how I met her. If she was with him, I wouldn't be worried for her. He is a nice guy. But as everyone knows, nice guys don't win! I just hope she knows what she's doing with this guy.
Another girl I know...
Is going out with a guy who she's completely unsure about. She's been with him for over two years now, but is still unsure about it. It annoys me, how she can't decide. She's "broken up" with him before, recently, but got back with him a few days later. What is it with girls? How hard can it be to just stick it out, no matter how much it may hurt. Because, in the end, you'll be happier. And I'm sure she'll be happier. Whenever she speaks of him, it's usually negative. I don't get people. If you're not happy, move on. If you're still unhappy after two years, surely there must be a deeper problem than you may care to admit.
From what I've gathered, she also has something for me. But I don't know if I like her either. She's nice, and not too bad to look at. But, I don't know if she has what I want in a girl. If I was completely sure that I liked her, I would probably try to make her break up with her boyfriend, for her sake. But if I don't really like her, I don't want to do that to her, only to leave her later on. That probably explains the unusual tension between us. I'm always upsetting her because she keeps annoying me.
It annoys me that she can't seem to make up her mind about anything.
That she's not head strong enough to make a decision and stick to it.
That it is impossible to get her to come out, yet she complains that I never invite her out anywhere.
That she acts like she needs me, but she clearly doesn't.
The last time I spoke to (messaged) her, I told her to not talk to me anymore, because she kept annoying me. But doesn't she realise that, the only difference from us "not talking" and our usual state is that I've explicitly told her not to talk to me? Because we don't talk normally anyways. She doesn't call me. She doesn't message me. She doesn't invite me anywhere.
The only time I hang out with her is if I run into her, or I meet up with a friend who happens to be with her. I've still not spoken to her since last week, and I have a feeling she's still probably upset about it. And I do feel bad. I don't want her to be upset. But I don't want to give in. Not anymore. She has to learn how to take the pain, and to move on. She has to grow stronger. She has her own friends there for her.
Honestly, I don't want to see her for the rest of the holidays. I know it'll make her feel really bad at first, but I'm sure she'll forget about me. Even if she decides that she never wants to speak to me again because of it, I'll be happy. Because she will finally have the will power (or at least some will power) to decide for herself what she needs in life. And to stick to it. It's for her own good.
